The Rabbit Didn’t Die
Middy,
The rabbit didn’t die¹. It’s 11:50 and sweltering in my city, but I shouldn’t expect any less from yours. Beyond the thick heat, this staggering self absorption leads me to believe that I am none the wiser, and in the same vain, that my retelling of any past events is inadequate.
Middy, there must be some way of telling you what has happened in so few words, as to spare me the test of dissection. Tuesday, I searched for our laid traps around the apartment and discarded them in a ticking box. I slept in rage, fear, and such regretfulness, a level of which I pray you will never be familiar with. Tuesday I wept, both for the rabbit and for the abject and pointless cruelty of the entire process. You may call me maudlin; it would not be unfair of you to say. There is something inside me, Middy, but I am not uncomfortable with its presence, nor do I believe it will survive long enough to hurt me anymore. Once again I implore you to be in search of a different test subject. Or possibly forgo the investigation altogether, as I can hardly stand the thought of its uncomfortably honest brutality.
For I believe, the rabbit should not have to die for us to find out what was never going to work.
Me, most truthfully.
¹ The Rabbit test, or Friedman test,
was an early pregnancy test which
required killing and dissecting
a rabbit to obtain the results.
How do I know when something is Mine
I
am supposed to be
special
new
perfect
lucky
eager
lying
famished
faint acknowledged
placed
contained
sometimes bent
your (almost) thing
So much so,
a dog cries out for the ambulance
and in their severed cadence rings
a devotion to matching pitch
a dedication to being wrong
to recognizing something yours
familiar
In something unparallel
desperate yelp
hollowed yawn
older- more evil and somehow
Just as
loud.
I BELIEVED
IN A
KIND OF TIMINGS
T.I.M.I.N.G.S.
AKINDOF
KINDNESS
KINDREDNESS
KIDSORKIN
IBELIEVED
and you
retreated,
the remaining Romeo spikes caught your cuff
upon dissension
like an act of desperate rebellion
and thus were the
final blow of a
KINDOF
KINDNESS
or
COUPDEGRACE
BUT
I am permanent every time so
What are you left with?
Do you think it’s real?
FUNNILYENOUGH
what is Mine is
almost (entirely not there).
What You See When Looking Down
Please don’t turn to me
choose to say something like
“Rabbit Rabbit”
An open card on Lombard that says
thank you and good luck
There’s a waiting grave inscribed
perpetual care
“Tibbar Tibbar”
I thought he was the artist
But I like to lie ‘What if we were forever’
sending you an instagram reel of a hummingbird with
the face of a pig and asking,
Do you think it’s real?